Advice
Two minutes on something in your life you want to be different, then your partner asks the one question that changes everything: 'do you want advice?' Yes gets a minute of advic…
manual · all sources
Authentic Relating Games Manual
paidaligned IDG relationpractice-based149 games (one per Setup heading; the back index lists 135, the cover claims 250+ with variations)
Field-tested manual of social games for deeper connection — curiosity, truth-telling, reflection, noticing — from the authentic relating movement. Its cover claims 250+ games and variations; the website says over 200. Sold as a PDF or print edition, with a filmed video manual and a subscription alongside it.
authrev.org/ar-games-manual — Authentic Revolution (Sara Ness)
License: CC BY-SA 4.0 — stated on page 3 of the manual itself: "Authentic Relating Games Manual by Authentic Revolution is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution: ShareAlike 4.0 International License." The editions are still sold ($25 PDF, $30 print); openly licensed and commercially distributed are not in conflict.
Source link checked 31 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 29 Aug 2026
The document these records were read from
This source is a file rather than a page, so what was read is pinned by its contents, not just its address. A revised edition at the same URL would be a different document — the digest below is how either of us can tell.
PDF218 pp28.2 MBread 31 Aug 2026
sha256 0b012d743e173caa7617118fcf3729ad82304694dd949bc14c853dc05abd40ab
Check it yourself: buy the same edition and run shasum -a 256 on it — there is no public download, so a person bought the copy this digest is of. A different digest means the document changed after these records were written, and the records drawn from it need re-reading.
Tools from this source (149)
Agency and Communion
Groups of four or five each design a gift for the whole room — an experience, an appreciation, anything — by first saying what each wants people to feel, then brainstorming with…
...AND...
A silent meditation facing a partner: first on everything you share — a world, emotions, that they could be a mirror — and a minute or two on what it is like to be one; then on…
Angel Walk
Slow music, a darkened room, two lines facing each other; one person at a time walks slowly between them with eyes closed while everyone touches and guides them through, perhaps…
Angels In The Closet
For three to five minutes each, talk about the angels in your closet — what you are proudest of, as boastfully as you can bear and a little more — and hear back what struck the…
Anonymous Confessions
Everyone writes down something they have never told anyone, or rarely share; the slips go into a basket; each person draws one and reads it to the circle as if it were their own…
Anybody Else?
Chairs in a circle, one fewer than people; whoever stands in the middle says something true — left-handed, uneasy about their height, attracted to someone in this room — and ask…
Apology Process
Connect with a meaningful apology you have not given, or cannot, and give it to a listener through stems the facilitator reads aloud — 'I acknowledge that I hurt you when I…', '…
Appreciation Dyads
Five minutes of 'being with you, I appreciate…' — about yourself, the other, or both, in the present moment — then swap. People run dry after a couple of minutes, the manual not…
Appreciation Hot Seat
A volunteer takes the seat and everyone else says what they appreciate — things experienced in them, or intuited — while the person occasionally rates, one to five, how hot it i…
Asking For Support
Say what you are struggling with; close your eyes and feel for the unmet need under it — significance, love, certainty — and for one concrete thing the other person could do; th…
Authentic Goodbye
One person lies on the floor, still and eyes closed, standing in for a relationship or a part of the other person that has ended; the other says what they are letting go of and…
Bacon
Angels, Recipients and Free Agents. The Angels work out what essential nutrient a Recipient is short of right now — the thing keeping them from their whole brilliance — and then…
Be Your Own Angel
Standing in a circle behind a chair-back or pillow, eyes closed, a guided meditation asks each person for a way of being to leave behind and one to step into; when it feels righ…
Best Friends / Mortal Enemies
Everyone secretly picks a 'best friend' and, on three, gets as close to them as possible; then a 'mortal enemy', and gets as far away as possible; then tries to keep the friend…
B.G.D.V.F. Connection
Two people share, in order, a brag, a gratitude, a desire, a vulnerability and a fear from the day or the time since they last met, each with its own sentence stem. Written by a…
Blind Desire
Eyes closed, attend to sensation, then to what the body wants, and let it move — first in place, then through the room, moving away from any contact and following your own pleas…
Body Love
Three minutes appreciating three parts of your own body aloud, one minute to set any boundaries — 'don't speak about my stomach, arms or breasts' — and then your partner appreci…
Bumblebee
Partners converse only by singing a few lines of whatever song comes to mind in reply — and not one thought of while the other was singing. Named for the Transformer who could o…
Cartography
For seven minutes one partner maps the other's mind with hypotheticals — would you ever, would you rather, would you like to — answered truthfully, with conditions if needed, go…
Change
One partner tells a story; whenever the other says 'change!', the last thing said has to change. Mostly fun, the manual says — until the Therapeutic variation, where a true, cha…
Choose Your Own Adventure
One person shares what is on their heart for two minutes; the other two each name the thread that most has their attention — something said, or a way of being — and the speaker…
Circling
A conversation about what is actually happening for you and between you, right now — sensations, emotions, relationship, 'vibes' — with curiosity about others' experience and no…
Color Echo
One partner says items in a category — colours, numbers, emotions — and the other echoes each back in any way they like; then swap; then either may start. Simple, the manual say…
Community Appreciations
Standing in a circle, a sub-group is named — facilitators, men, women, 'people who attend every damn event' — and steps into the middle, and three to five people appreciate a me…
Complain Game
Two minutes complaining about something in your life you want different — as a bad mood, or all-out as a victim — then, after swapping, speak to your usual self in the voice of…
Conductor
A tight circle becomes three choirs; whoever stands in the middle improvises a melody — words, gibberish, a single note — for each choir to loop, then conducts the layers until…
Congregation of Believers
One person testifies for five minutes to an 'article of faith' they used to hold and have begun to doubt — unconditional love, hard work pays, the goodness of government — while…
Constellations
In a large circle, on each prompt everyone finds the one person for whom it is most true — the person you respect most, feel least connected to, would most like to work with, ha…
Constellations of Concern
Someone names a context alive in the room — age disparity, political difference, that everyone here could afford this event, or 'I'm aware of my age' — and people move closer to…
Context Conversation
A conversation held entirely in the stem 'Right now, I would ___ because ___' — the thing you would do, and the motive under it, which can go several 'because's down: 'I would a…
Contexter
After a short grounding meditation, the group completes the stem 'What's happening right now is…' popcorn-style, with no rebuttals, while the facilitator occasionally asks where…
Core Exploration
In threes, an Explorer spends three minutes going after what matters most to a Speaker — feeling it, reflecting it, digging with 'why does X matter to you?', distilling and chec…
Crowdsource Meditation
Everyone closes their eyes and, whenever moved, names aloud what they are aware of — sweating hands, nerves, a deep breath. Others' noticings may shift your own or not; either i…
Curiosity
Five minutes of asking a partner only what you are genuinely curious about, which they may answer or decline; a minute of feedback on the questions; three more minutes; then the…
Distillation
One person speaks for two minutes to something on their heart; a second reflects back exactly what they heard; the speaker clarifies; a third says what they took from the whole…
Distinguish Your Shadow
In a group of four to seven, each person in turn introduces their shadow — the part they hide or are ashamed of — and answers the group's questions as that part: how it most lik…
Doom Circle
A volunteer asks for feedback on their goals, sets the prompt and the level of gentleness they want, and then receives it from everyone in turn — specific, owned, offered rather…
Ducklings
One person goes about their business across a room, a building or a city block while the others follow, narrating aloud what they see and what they take it to mean: 'Mama finds…
Dyad Circling (Wedding Circle)
Two closely interdependent people — a couple, colleagues — circle each other on a tension between them while four to eight others sit around and attend only to the space between…
Emotion Sculpture
One person chooses an emotion they struggle with and sculpts their partner into it — shoulders, brows, posture — adjusting like a director until it is right, walks around it, an…
Emotional Volume Knob
One partner talks; the other conducts with a hand — fist at the hip for stop, pointing forward for go, down for dry and rational, up for pure emotion, anywhere between for that…
Empathy
Silent eye contact, then one person speaks for three minutes to something on their heart while the other only listens; the listener says back exactly what they heard, with as li…
Ending Appreciations
Round the circle, each person tells the one beside them something they appreciate about them from the last few hours. That is the whole game; the manual only adds to leave extra…
Far Away, So Close
Two lines at opposite ends of the room; one line directs the other with three hand signals — come closer, go back, stop — for a minute or two, in silence, then partners talk and…
Feng Shui
Sit in a circle and notice how this arrangement feels — connected or not, playful or serious — then share, then change the configuration (standing, one person standing while oth…
Fight Lab
In threes, one person names the block holding them back most in leadership or life, and the other two stage a scenario, in the moment, meant to trigger it. When it does, the per…
Fly on the Wall
A volunteer chooses mild, medium or spicy, then sits to the side with their back to the group and listens while everyone talks about them as if they were not there — noticings,…
Fortune Cookie
Around the circle, each person adds one word to a sentence nobody is composing; the result is the group's fortune, repeated back word by word and honoured with a bow. 'A great e…
Frame
Like the Noticing Game but each statement begins with the word 'Frame', treating the present moment of contact as a still life to be described admiringly in a phrase. Partners a…
Freeze Frame
In a group who know each other, everyone but the receiver secretly chooses a quality they associate with that person and a pose to show it; on three, all strike and hold, then e…
Frustration Station
Think of someone you struggle to be authentic with — the manual calls them 'the Jerk' and admits some people dislike that — and embody them while your partner tries to relate to…
Getting Presents
It is the receiver's birthday and the others shower them with imaginary gifts, fast, one after another; the receiver meets every gift — thoughtful or absurd — with delight and t…
Gratitude Journal
Write three things you are truly grateful for right now — not to play the game, the manual insists, but because they are true — and then, in a group of three to five, take seven…
Great Guru Game
In threes who know each other, one becomes the guru; the petitioner names the guru's gift, asks a real question from their life as if they had travelled weeks to ask it, receive…
Group Giving Game (Would Y'all?)
Anyone may make a request of the whole group — to enact something together — and anyone uncomfortable raises a hand to change it, for themselves or for everyone; anyone can stop…
Guided Presence
People mill, stop in front of someone, and hold eye contact while the facilitator reads a series of noticing prompts — let go of your story about this person, where is your atte…
Guru Game
On a higher chair, in touch with an inner guru, one person answers the group's questions — 'oh Guru, what is the meaning of life?', 'how can I decide when to stay with my lover…
Guru of the Altitudes
Each chair is a stage of development from Integral theory — Infrared, Magenta, Red, Amber, Orange, Green, Teal — and whoever sits there embodies it: the Amber chair holds tradit…
Handshake Game
Stand before a partner in silent eye contact until you feel you have met them — only then offer your hand, and only shake when the other feels the same — before moving on to mee…
Higher Self-Talk
One person stands behind their chair as their higher self, and the group interviews it about them: how do you feel about Rob, does Rob listen to you, what do you want to tell hi…
Hot Seat
A volunteer takes the chair and names the intensity they want — mild, medium or spicy — and the group asks probing questions to match, 'interested, not interesting' ones that ke…
How's Yours?
One person steps out; the group picks something they all have — a toothbrush, or childhood memories — and the guesser may only ask 'How's yours?', receiving vague true answers u…
I Don't Know About You
One partner simply lists things they do not know about the other — when you last spoke to your parents, what you think about drug use — with no obligation on the other to answer…
I Love Myself!
On your turn, say one thing you love about yourself; if nothing comes, throw your hands up and declare you love everything about yourself. A game-shaped way into self-talk the m…
If I Were You…
Tell your partner about an experience — a time you felt scared or endangered, or something stuck in your mind — and let them question you greedily, because they will retell it t…
I'm a Tree!
One person becomes a tree; two more join the scene as an apple, a squirrel — or the tree's self-doubt — and the tree chooses which stays to seed the next scene. A quick improv g…
Imitation Introduction
Two minutes each to discover your partner's superpower — what they are uniquely good at, and how it shows in the moment — and then, around the circle, introduce your partner as…
Impression Spectrum
One person takes the hot seat and closes their eyes; one end of the room is — in the manual's own words — 'I fucking love this person', the other 'I really don't like how this p…
In Groups Of…
The facilitator calls the manual's template — 'In groups of ___ make a ___' — with a number and a thing (its examples: a car, a human body, a crane, a house, a wedding set), and…
Inception ("What's that like?")
One person says what they are feeling right now; the other may only ask 'what's that like?' — or 'what's it like to feel sad and be smiling at the same time?' — for two to five…
Interrupting and Following Aliveness
One partner talks for four minutes about something fairly boring from their week; at least every thirty seconds the other has to interrupt with a question they genuinely want an…
Intimacies
Two circles facing each other; the inner person shares one intimacy with their partner — a truth, a withhold, an appreciation, a tag for later, or a projection to check — and th…
Into The Magic Shop
Partners name specific goals, then close their eyes and meditate on the future in which they are already achieved — viewed from several angles, with the facilitator asking what…
I've Felt That
Name three emotions you felt at one moment in your life, with no story attached; your partner sits with the combination and tells of a time they felt those same three. However s…
Kabuki Circling
Every chair in the circle carries one facilitation role — Sensor, Reflector, Empath, Group Mother, Witness, Depth Charge, Romantic, Dissenter, Body Tracker, Stud Finder, Time Tr…
Kingdom
Someone takes the throne; the room becomes their subjects, and a facilitator asks them how it would feel to be ruled by this person — kind? just? able to make hard decisions? de…
Kiss Kiss Diss
In a circle of five to ten who know each other, the person three seats to your left gives you a compliment — specific enough to land — the next gives another, and the person bes…
Lens of Attention
The group answers the stem 'When I put my attention on ___, I notice ___' — first on objects the leader picks (breath, body, heart, the connection), then on anything anyone prop…
Like, Like, GOOSE!
Duck-duck-goose with a twist: the walker touches each head with a one-word appreciation instead of 'duck', then says 'goose' and runs. The manual is clear the game lies in the t…
Love and Self-Love
Tell two people about someone you love, letting yourself feel it as you speak; hear what it did to them; then speak about why you love yourself with the same care and feeling, a…
Love Blaster
Appreciate an object in the room for a minute — then close your eyes and appreciate the feeling of appreciating. Do it again with a partner and a second object. Then two pairs m…
Magical Moments
A guided return to a moment in your life that felt magical — its smells, colours, sounds, textures, the mood you were in — relived with eyes closed for a minute or so, then shar…
Meet My Essence
Mill and introduce yourself as the self you first show people — and say how and why you show up that way: 'I'm really loving and warm and soft when I meet people, so you HAVE to…
Minis
Three minutes to say or do whatever helps you arrive, while your partner witnesses in silence; then they ask a presencing question — what colour are your socks, how does your le…
Mirror, Mirror
Describe a situation you would ask advice about; your partner repeats it back verbatim — same pronouns, as much of the same feeling as they can honestly carry — as if it were ha…
Mirror of Perception
The group names qualities it sees in one person, popcorn-style, and that person holds up one to five fingers for how true each feels from inside; then they name qualities they s…
Moving Interaction
Mill around; whenever you meet someone's eyes or bump into them, interact — a sound, a gesture, a touch — then move on. Anyone offered a physical interaction they do not want gi…
Mudra Theatre
Chairs face one side of the room; whoever steps on stage expresses whatever arises, for as long as the facilitator lets it cook, with one rule: nothing they thought of beforehan…
Next…
Around the circle, each person tells the one on their left something they themselves would like to hear — 'you're not going to fall apart', 'your mother loves you', 'you don't h…
The Noticing Game
Two people take turns completing the sentences "Being with you, I notice…" (or "Hearing that, I notice…"), naming present-moment sensations, feelings, and impulses as they arise…
Noting
In pairs, holding eye contact, one person speaks a single word for whatever passes through awareness — thought, sensation, itch, fear, blankness — for three minutes or more, the…
One Time…
True stories one sentence long, each beginning 'One time…', going round the group and then popcorn-style — with the rule that you tell the story that comes after the last person…
Owning Our Judgments
Round one: everyone voices an unowned judgment that is true for them right now — 'I feel like this game is stupid.' Round two: each repeats it and says what is more true underne…
Pandora's Box
Four rounds of stems, twice round the circle each: 'inside of me, I notice…', 'outside of me, I notice…', 'if you really knew me, you would be curious about…', and 'to really kn…
Perspective Yoga
Four short conversations in a row: attention only on yourself; only on your partner; only on the connection between you, treated almost as a third being; only on the wider conte…
P.I.E.S.
Each person gives a one-to-ten number for how they are, then says how they are doing physically, intellectually, emotionally and socially or spiritually, thirty to sixty seconds…
Progressive Touch
Forty-five minutes of touch that builds by stages, a minute each: breathing together, gazing, hands almost touching, then fingertips, then whole hands and forearms, a short cont…
Prolonged Eye Contact
Two circles of chairs facing each other; sit, and hold eye contact in silence for anywhere from thirty seconds to five minutes, then share. The manual suggests keeping it short…
Question Ambassador
Two concentric circles of chairs; each person chooses one stem they will ask everyone, asks it for a minute, answers their partner's for a minute, and the outer circle rotates.…
Race Cars
One partner closes their eyes and walks; the other steers from behind by the shoulders, keeping them clear of everything, as the facilitator calls higher gears until the room is…
Reach Out, Touch Me
Sit with a partner and connect without words, a minute or more at each stage: only fingertips touching, then hands, then hands and arms — eyes open or closed as you choose. Then…
Requests Training
One partner asks the other for a die, or a sweet, over and over for a couple of minutes; the holder gives it only when the asking feels genuine — and it is handed straight back…
Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament
Pairs play rock-paper-scissors; each loser falls in behind the winner as a cheering entourage, and the chain follows its champion to the next bout, until the whole room stands b…
Rooms Of The Heart
'If my heart had different rooms, the one I use the most is…' — one person describes a room in themselves, a playful room or a work room, and how it is to have the others in it…
Rose, Bud, Thorn
Each person names a rose (something going well), a bud (something new or full of possibility) and a thorn (something hard), then picks who goes next. Simple enough for a company…
Secret Identity
The room is secretly split into a Friendly group, who answer 'how are you' with pleasantries, and a Raw group, who answer with one true sentence about their life; people mill an…
See and Be Seen
Mill, stop, close your eyes; on opening, one partner silently sees while the other is seen, then swap, then both at once, closing the eyes in between to return to yourself — all…
Semi-Circling
Stand in front of a semicircle of six to eight and say three to five physical sensations you feel right now, with their flavours, then three to five emotions, with theirs — no s…
Sentence Stems
A sentence stem is a deconstructed question — 'If you really knew me, you would know…', 'Something I really love about myself is…', 'What scares me most is…' — completed around…
Shadow Criticism
Voice a criticism of the event, its presentation or its facilitators, and let the others inquire into what in you the criticism might also be about — a wish to push yourself reg…
Shower of Love
Each person in turn becomes the focus, and for a minute or two the group calls out single words for them — a quality, an impact, an attribute — anyone speaking, repeats allowed,…
Sketch Appreciation
After a minute or two of eye-gazing, one partner becomes an artist and the other their masterpiece: choosing an imagined medium, they 'sketch' the other's face, tracing features…
Spectrum
People place themselves along a line from most to least in answer to a prompt — how engaged they feel, whether they consider themselves lonely or privileged, how much they earn…
Spin The Bottle Topical Circling
A bottle in the middle of the circle; whoever it points at picks a topic and the group circles it for four minutes — relationally, never conceptually, and anyone who hears it dr…
Spiral Sentence Stems
Sentence stems written for the altitudes of development — 'my instincts protect me when…', 'I'm awed by the magical mystery of existence when…', 'I'm proud to be part of ___ bec…
Split Brain
After a short meditation, one person finds two parts of themselves that are at odds, describes how each speaks, and assigns one to each of two partners — who then hold the conve…
Stick Game
Each pair holds a short stick between the tips of their index fingers and moves through the room without dropping it — and if it drops, picks it up the same way. Swap who leads,…
Stop
Partners stand across the room; one walks toward the other, who may only say 'stop' — no touch — and the walker stops only when they truly feel like stopping. Not persuasion but…
Story → Headline
Tell the same story three times — a minute, thirty seconds, ten seconds — each shorter and closer to what is alive in it, then hear the listener's impact. For people who tell lo…
Storytelling Reflection
In a group of four or five, one person stands and acts out a story or a prompt — your first time, a part of you that feels broken, who you were that has changed — with words and…
T-Group
Four to eight people hold a forty-minute conversation entirely about what they notice in themselves, in each other and in the group, right now, using four hand signals — agreeme…
Terminator
Two pairs: one asks, one answers — except that the askers may only speak as 'we' ('We notice that you scratch your head whenever you're asked about your family. What's happening…
The Enrollment Game
Earth wants something real — to go full-time as a musician, to find a partner — and has two minutes to enrol Wind and Fire in helping, with the what, the why and the how; they s…
The Giving Game ("Would You?")
For five to ten minutes one person asks for exactly what they want from or with their partner, right now — physical, mental or emotional — refining the request until it is preci…
The "Google" Game
'If I were to Google you and puppies, what would I find?' — and the answer is whatever memory, story or feeling comes up, not information. Can be themed, and a second round lets…
The Head & The Heart
Mill while tuning in to the conversation in your own head — its pace, volume, content — then pair up and complete 'Something my head is saying right now is…', repeat with new pa…
The Leader Game
One person on a higher chair has full control of the space for five to ten minutes and may do anything with it — spend it deciding, seek consensus, issue orders. Whatever happen…
The Receiving Game ("Would I?")
Two people each make a request of the third, who says aloud how each lands in the body and the feelings as it arrives, then weighs them out loud and chooses one — or counter-off…
The Reframe Game
One person outlines a problem — ideally a difficult conversation they face — and asks for reframes; the others offer different ways of seeing it, each speaking once before anyon…
The Seems
Popcorn-style stems that move through four positions: 'I seem…', then 'you seem…' (choosing a person to project onto), 'we seem…', and 'the context is…' — with 'my context is…'…
Touch My Elbow
Partners take turns asking to be touched somewhere specific, in the manual's form 'I would like my <blank> to be touched', and the other lightly does so, or declines; a declined…
Trading Faces
In silence, imagine seeing your own face, words and movements from where your partner sits — then say 'I must seem…' and describe it, for a few minutes, before the partner answe…
Translator
Two people converse and each has a translator who says, after every line, what is really behind it: 'What I notice about you is that your shirt is tight' becomes 'You're hot and…
Truths
In the full group, anyone may say to anyone: '(Person's name), when you ____ (identify a particular, unarguable moment or experience), I felt ___ (share an emotion).' Continue u…
Try Me On
Answer 'Who am I? I am…' in a circle, then take off as much clothing as feels comfortable and pass it to the person on your left, put on what you are handed, move around the roo…
Unconditional Hugs
Two circles; the outer one closes its eyes and the inner one gives them random hugs, silently, so no one knows who hugged them — with a tap on the arm first, so no one is surpri…
Walk With Me
One person circles the inside of the group saying 'walk with me if…' and something true about themselves; everyone who shares it gets up and walks too, and any walker may offer…
Watermelon
One partner may say only the word 'watermelon'; the other answers 'you seem…' with whatever they read in them, and the watermelons that follow are honest responses to being read…
What I Mean by That Is…
'I love you, and what I mean by that is…' — each partner completes the phrase with what it means between them right now, then the same for 'I understand you', 'I respect you', b…
What If…
Each person shares an imagined future as a question — 'what if I loved myself just as I am?' — then takes time to feel how it would be if it were already true, and says so, befo…
Whatcha Doin'?
One person mimes an action; the next asks 'Whatcha doin'?' and is told something entirely different, which they must then mime for the next asker. Speed is the point — answer be…
What's Here Now?
One person lies down and places their partner's hand somewhere on their own body; the hand stays exactly there, relaxed, in pure witness, while the partner asks 'what's here now…
Whispered Belongings
Write down what you wish someone would say to make you feel loved and that you belong; show it to your partner, who reads it silently and meets your eyes. Then half the room sta…
Who Are You?
Three questions, two minutes each: 'Who are you?', 'Who do you pretend to be?', and — asked back — 'Who do you think I am?', then a debrief and a swap. The manual calls it one o…
Withholds
A withhold is what you have not been saying to someone. Ask if they are open to hearing it, give the context and why you want to return to connection, then say it — 'I was reall…
Witnessed Movement
One partner moves however they want for five minutes with eyes closed; the other watches with full attention, trying to feel what it is to be them dancing — mimicking a little i…
Word Association
Around the circle or back and forth in pairs, each person says the first word the last one prompts, as fast as possible and uncensored. The manual's variations narrow it to a ca…
The Yes/No Game
One partner may only say yes, the other only no, back and forth for a minute — then swap. Can you hold a no while the other presses? Can you say yes to someone saying no to you?…
record status: drafted · added 2026-08-25