practice · all tools
Withholds
A withhold is what you have not been saying to someone. Ask if they are open to hearing it, give the context and why you want to return to connection, then say it — 'I was really pissed off when you overrode me in the planning meeting' — and stay in the conversation until both feel complete. The manual calls sharing them regularly, before they build up, the best way it knows to keep a team, community or relationship healthy, and a lifetime practice.
- Asking first is structural: a withhold delivered without consent is a complaint
- The manual's one facilitation instruction is the one that matters — stay in connection and do not distance if the other person gets triggered
Practical
- Time
- 2-30 min
- Group
- 2–∞ · pairs, small-group, large-group
- Settings
- in-person, online
- Mechanisms
- dialogic-encounter, emotional-processing, feedback-mirroring
- Change scope
- state → skill · recurring-practice
Instructions
- Where
- authrev.org/ar-games-manual — Authentic Relating Games Manual, paid
- Availability
- In the source document — the instructions live inside the material linked, on its terms
- Licence
- CC BY-SA 4.0 (Authentic Relating Games Manual)
Source link checked 31 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 29 Aug 2026
This directory describes and points home; the instructions stay with the people who made them.
Origin
Learned at the Integral Center — Integral Center; carried into Authentic Relating (Authentic Relating Games Manual, 2025 edition)
In this directory via Authentic Relating Games Manual
Related: Truths (pairs-with)
status: checked · added 2026-08-31