exercise · all tools

The Noticing Game

Depth · what it can open●●●3 — emotional
Holding · facilitation2 — facilitator
Trust · group readiness★★some
Disclosure · what is sharedrequired

Two people take turns completing the sentences "Being with you, I notice…" (or "Hearing that, I notice…"), naming present-moment sensations, feelings, and impulses as they arise in contact. A core authentic-relating game that trains staying in live connection instead of narrating about it.

Prerequisites

  • Framing that all noticing is welcome and none of it is a demand on the partner
  • Genuine opt-out available; eye contact intensity self-regulated
Hold with care
  • Sustained relational attention can be unexpectedly intense for newcomers; normalize stepping back
  • Do not run as an icebreaker with unprepared workplace groups — it reads as intimacy on demand

Practical

Time
10-20 min + 5 landing
Group
230 · pairs, small-group
Settings
in-person, online
Materials
None
Mechanisms
dialogic-encounter, open-awareness, somatic-awareness
Change scope
state → skill · repeatable

Origin & where it lives

Authentic relating community; codified by Sara Ness / Authentic Revolution — Authentic Relating (roots in Circling and humanistic group practice)

Instructions: in source

In this directory via Authentic Relating Games Manual

Current manual edition is paid; an older version 7 circulates under CC BY-SA. A precise example of depth 3 with modest logistics: nothing to prepare, everything in the quality of attention.

status: checked · added 2026-08-25