exercise · all tools
Fly on the Wall
A volunteer chooses mild, medium or spicy, then sits to the side with their back to the group and listens while everyone talks about them as if they were not there — noticings, projections, gossip pitched to the level asked for — for ten to fifteen minutes; then rejoins to say what landed and what did not. Extremely powerful, the manual says, and to be balanced with appreciation if run spicy; it belongs among the games that require experience with each other.
Prerequisites
- The manual files it among feedback games that 'require experience with each other'
- Being discussed in the third person while present is the design; the manual's instruction to balance a spicy round with appreciation is not optional
- The twenty minutes afterwards are where repair happens; they are part of the time, not a cool-down
Practical
- Time
- 25-40 min
- Group
- 5–∞ · small-group, large-group
- Settings
- in-person, online
- Mechanisms
- feedback-mirroring, perspective-taking, emotional-processing
- Change scope
- state → skill · repeatable
Instructions
- Where
- authrev.org/ar-games-manual — Authentic Relating Games Manual, paid
- Availability
- In the source document — the instructions live inside the material linked, on its terms
- Licence
- CC BY-SA 4.0 (Authentic Relating Games Manual)
Source link checked 31 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 29 Aug 2026
This directory describes and points home; the instructions stay with the people who made them.
Origin
Authentic World; Fly on the Cuddle Pile variation by Laila Amerman, Gecko on the Wall by David Staab and Eli Slater — Authentic Relating (Authentic Relating Games Manual, 2025 edition)
In this directory via Authentic Relating Games Manual
Variations in the manual: Fly on the Cuddle Pile (appreciations in a gossiping tone) and Gecko on the Wall (positive gossip about a future the person has described, as if it had already happened).
status: checked · added 2026-08-31