exercise · all tools
What I Mean by That Is…
Depth · what it can open●●○○2 — reflective
Holding · facilitation1 — host
Trust · group readiness★any
Disclosure · what is sharedoptional
'I love you, and what I mean by that is…' — each partner completes the phrase with what it means between them right now, then the same for 'I understand you', 'I respect you', building toward 'I hate you' and 'I'm angry with you'. Invented by someone who now uses it in daily life: 'Please get back to me soon. And what I mean by soon is…'.
Hold with care
- The manual's own sequence starts soft and builds to 'I hate you'; the later phrases between people who have just met are a different exercise from the first ones
Practical
- Time
- 10-20 min
- Group
- 2–∞ · pairs
- Settings
- in-person, online
- Mechanisms
- dialogic-encounter, cognitive-reframing
- Change scope
- state → skill · repeatable
Instructions
- Where
- authrev.org/ar-games-manual — Authentic Relating Games Manual, paid
- Availability
- In the source document — the instructions live inside the material linked, on its terms
- Licence
- CC BY-SA 4.0 (Authentic Relating Games Manual)
Source link checked 31 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 29 Aug 2026
This directory describes and points home; the instructions stay with the people who made them.
Origin
Elisabeth Brustein (Authentic Relating Dallas) — Authentic Relating (Authentic Relating Games Manual, 2025 edition)
In this directory via Authentic Relating Games Manual
status: checked · added 2026-08-31