exercise · all tools
Apology Process
Connect with a meaningful apology you have not given, or cannot, and give it to a listener through stems the facilitator reads aloud — 'I acknowledge that I hurt you when I…', 'when you held me accountable, I felt…', 'if you would like, I could make amends by…' — deliberately without the story's details, to avoid what the manual calls a vulnerability hangover. Then the listener responds the way the apologist asks to be responded to.
- The apology may be to someone dead or unreachable, and the listener stands in for them; the manual's instruction to keep to feelings rather than facts is its protection against oversharing, and should be read out in full
- The facilitator reads the stems live to the whole room — pacing them is the holding
Practical
- Time
- 30 min
- Group
- 2–∞ · pairs
- Settings
- in-person, online
- Mechanisms
- emotional-processing, narrative-identity, dialogic-encounter, ritual-container
- Change scope
- state → skill · repeatable
Instructions
- Where
- authrev.org/ar-games-manual — Authentic Relating Games Manual, paid
- Availability
- In the source document — the instructions live inside the material linked, on its terms
- Licence
- CC BY-SA 4.0 (Authentic Relating Games Manual)
Source link checked 31 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 29 Aug 2026
This directory describes and points home; the instructions stay with the people who made them.
Origin
David Betz-Zall — Authentic Relating (Authentic Relating Games Manual, 2025 edition)
In this directory via Authentic Relating Games Manual
Related: Structured approach to repair (alternative-to)
status: checked · added 2026-08-31