Apology Process
Connect with a meaningful apology you have not given, or cannot, and give it to a listener through stems the facilitator reads aloud — 'I acknowledge that I hurt you when I…', '…
Relating R5
Forgiveness
Willingness to transcend hostility, work through trauma, and create space for healing.
Tools for this skill (11)
Authentic Goodbye
One person lies on the floor, still and eyes closed, standing in for a relationship or a part of the other person that has ended; the other says what they are letting go of and…
Letting Go
Marked optional in the handbook, and the deepest thing in it. The framing is explicit: many participants have experienced significant pain and sometimes trauma, and carrying it…
Norms for addressing harm directly
To establish team expectations that when harm occurs, it will be acknowledged and addressed. Discuss and establish team norms around addressing harm: • When someone feels harmed…
Restorative Circles
A community process for conflict developed by Dominic Barter with residents of Rio's favelas: those who acted, those affected, and their community meet in facilitated circles —…
Structured approach to repair
To provide a framework for repair conversations when harm has occurred. When addressing harm, a repair conversation typically moves through stages: 1. The harmed person describe…
The Fresh Start
A seconds-scale daily micro-practice for Forgiveness (VCoL collection): Before interacting with someone you have a negative history with, pause. Acknowledge your past-based expe…
The Letting Go Moment
A seconds-scale daily micro-practice for Forgiveness (VCoL collection): When you notice you are holding onto a grievance, pause. Acknowledge the feeling. Ask: 'Is carrying this…
The Story Loosening
A seconds-scale daily micro-practice for Forgiveness (VCoL collection): When you notice a fixed negative story about someone, pause. Acknowledge the story: 'The story I'm tellin…
Unconditional Forgiveness Practice
A guided reflective process for releasing a held grievance — not excusing the deed, not requiring reconciliation, but freeing the forgiver from carrying it: recalling the hurt a…
Working through collective resentments and divisions
To address patterns of division that limit the team's capacity. Periodically create space to examine whether the team is carrying resentments or grievances: Are there other team…
Also develops it (3)
Loving-Kindness / Compassion Meditation
The progressive compassion practice at the heart of most compassion trainings: settle into body and breath; direct kind, non-judging attention first to yourself (self-compassion…
Recovering and rebuilding after significant setbacks
Some setbacks are significant enough that maintaining momentum is not possible. Resilient teams can recover and rebuild. After significant setbacks, allow time for processing. M…
Restorative Dialogue
A repair practice for after classroom or team "hot moments": once a discussion has run too intense, the group returns to it deliberately — reflecting on what happened, exchangin…