exercise · all tools
The Giving Game ("Would You?")
For five to ten minutes one person asks for exactly what they want from or with their partner, right now — physical, mental or emotional — refining the request until it is precise; the partner may give it, decline, or counter-offer. The manual's own example escalates from a back rub to whispered compliments, and its facilitator note is that the receiver should say no at the first hesitation. Adapted from the Authentic Woman Experience; a favourite, and played on dates.
- Requests are expected to become physical — the manual's example is a back rub with whispering — so consent is not a framing here, it is the game, and the facilitator has to make declining feel as normal as asking
- The manual's own instruction to the receiver: say no if you feel hesitation. That line is the safety design and should be repeated aloud before play
- Not an exercise for a workplace or for people who have just met, whatever the manual says about dates
Practical
- Time
- 10-20 min
- Group
- 2–∞ · pairs
- Settings
- in-person
- Mechanisms
- dialogic-encounter, somatic-awareness, behavioral-rehearsal
- Change scope
- state → skill · repeatable
Instructions
- Where
- authrev.org/ar-games-manual — Authentic Relating Games Manual, paid
- Availability
- In the source document — the instructions live inside the material linked, on its terms
- Licence
- CC BY-SA 4.0 (Authentic Relating Games Manual)
Source link checked 31 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 29 Aug 2026
This directory describes and points home; the instructions stay with the people who made them.
Origin
Adapted from the Authentic Woman Experience; variations by the Austin Love Juggernaut — Authentic Woman Experience; carried into Authentic Relating (Authentic Relating Games Manual, 2025 edition)
In this directory via Authentic Relating Games Manual
Variations in the manual: Tuning into Desire (ask, with no response at all), Hot Giving Game (rotating circles), and Alien Consent Game (ask in gibberish, feel for the yes or no).
status: checked · added 2026-08-31