exercise · all tools

Complain Game

Depth · what it can open●●●3 — emotional
Holding · facilitation2 — facilitator
Trust · group readiness★★some
Disclosure · what is sharedrequired

Two minutes complaining about something in your life you want different — as a bad mood, or all-out as a victim — then, after swapping, speak to your usual self in the voice of your higher or most resourceful self: '(A's name), this is Your Higher Self speaking. I heard what you have said, and I want to respond.' The Tantrum variation makes the complaining physical, and the manual notes people sometimes need care afterwards.

Hold with care
  • The manual says of the Tantrum variation that people get physical and loud, and that some have had big reactions and wanted care afterwards — plan for both
  • The manual records a Black participant explaining he could not let go because life required him to hold so tightly; it treats race as a real factor in who can safely tantrum, and so should whoever runs this

Practical

Time
10-15 min
Group
2 · pairs
Settings
in-person, online
Mechanisms
emotional-processing, perspective-taking, cognitive-reframing
Change scope
state → skill · repeatable

Instructions

Where
authrev.org/ar-games-manual Authentic Relating Games Manual, paid
Availability
In the source document — the instructions live inside the material linked, on its terms
Licence
CC BY-SA 4.0 (Authentic Relating Games Manual)

Source link checked 31 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 29 Aug 2026

This directory describes and points home; the instructions stay with the people who made them.

Origin

Jason Digges (Integral Center); Tantrum variation by David Betz-Zall and Kasia (Authentic Seattle), for a games night called Playing Like a Child — Integral; carried into Authentic Relating (Authentic Relating Games Manual, 2025 edition)

In this directory via Authentic Relating Games Manual

Variation in the manual: Tantrum!! — exaggerate the complaint physically, then receive Higher Self advice.

status: checked · added 2026-08-31