exercise · all tools

Context Conversation

Depth · what it can open●●●3 — emotional
Holding · facilitation2 — facilitator
Trust · group readiness★★some
Disclosure · what is sharedrequired

A conversation held entirely in the stem 'Right now, I would ___ because ___' — the thing you would do, and the motive under it, which can go several 'because's down: 'I would ask you a question, because I feel nervous and don't want the attention on me.' One of the manual's favourite routes to self-awareness, with easier on-ramps for groups that find it hard.

Practical

Time
10-20 min
Group
25 · pairs, small-group
Settings
in-person, online
Mechanisms
dialogic-encounter, cognitive-reframing, narrative-identity
Change scope
state → skill · repeatable

Instructions

Where
authrev.org/ar-games-manual Authentic Relating Games Manual, paid
Availability
In the source document — the instructions live inside the material linked, on its terms
Licence
CC BY-SA 4.0 (Authentic Relating Games Manual)

Source link checked 31 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 29 Aug 2026

This directory describes and points home; the instructions stay with the people who made them.

Origin

Sara Ness, inspired — she says — by the best OkCupid message she ever received — Authentic Relating (Authentic Relating Games Manual, 2025 edition)

In this directory via Authentic Relating Games Manual

Ways in, from the manual: add the 'because' later; use 'I want to…' instead; or Attempted Normalcy, switching between ordinary conversation and this.

status: checked · added 2026-08-31