exercise · all tools
Heard, Seen, Respected
Also known as: HSR
In pairs, participants take turns telling a story about a time they were NOT heard, seen, or respected, while the partner listens without interrupting, fixing, or judging. A structured debrief surfaces what it takes to listen at that level and what changes when people feel received. Practices listening as presence rather than problem-solving.
Prerequisites
- Working agreement on confidentiality before stories are told
- Participation in storytelling must be genuinely optional; listeners-only is a valid role
- Stories of not being respected can touch live wounds (workplace harm, discrimination); do not push for disclosure depth
- In hierarchical groups, people may tell 'safe' stories — that is self-regulation working, not failure
- Debrief is where the learning lands; never cut it for time
Practical
- Time
- 35 min + 10 landing
- Group
- 2–∞ · pairs, small-group, large-group
- Settings
- in-person, online
- Materials
- None; chairs in pairs. Online: breakout rooms of 2.
- Mechanisms
- dialogic-encounter, emotional-processing, perspective-taking
- Change scope
- state → skill · repeatable
Instructions
- Where
- liberatingstructures.com/heard-seen-respected — Liberating Structures, open
- Availability
- Open online — published at the link, free to read
- Licence
- CC BY-SA 4.0
Source link checked 29 Aug 2026 — unchanged since we recorded it on 28 Aug 2026
This directory describes and points home; the instructions stay with the people who made them.
Origin
Henri Lipmanowicz & Keith McCandless — Liberating Structures
In this directory via Liberating Structures
Related: Truth Mandala (prepares-for)
A reliable bridge exercise: structurally simple enough for holding level 2, yet reliably produces depth-3 contact. Often the first time a work group experiences being listened to without agenda.
status: checked · added 2026-08-25